During chemo I had a lot of brain fog
People are always surprised when they hear that I am 43 years old and going through breast cancer treatment.
In September 2022, I found a lump in my breast. And then on January 6, 2023, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. That was the day my whole world changed, and my life was shifted onto a completely different path.
By late March, I had a lumpectomy, where they removed the tumor from one of my breasts and several nearby lymph nodes. My chemo started in late May and went until late August, and then radiation began. Now, I’ve started a five-year course of medication.
During chemo, I had a lot of brain fog. It really made me feel like I was high all the time. I live alone and I don’t have a caretaker, and so I had to learn how to take care of myself. It was an experiment in self-awareness, to see if I could take care of myself, when I was in that state.
You have to remember your daily routines, and your energy levels, and how to look after yourself. Then, during radiation, my brain fog got even worse. Even now, I still have problems focusing on things sometimes.
My long-term memory is great, but retaining short-term memories can be hard. I’ve noticed that I can have a hard time listening to long passages of speech. I used to be really sharp, but now I can lose track of the speech and have a hard time formulating a question. My mind is like an elastic band that has become loose, and now I am trying to figure out how to make it tight again. It’s getting better and better, but at the peak of it, my brain was cotton.
Even with the difficulties — and people don’t like it when I say this — I appreciate my cancer experience. It’s been a revelation, and opened me up to new possibilities. I plan to do a book about my experiences, and to channel what has happened into art. I feel it’s necessary to share my experiences with people. •